Crawling
by Paisley
Summary: The war is over, but so many people are dead or missing. Ginny comes across Luna in a muggle mental asylum, going by a different name, and unaware of what is real. Will she trust Ginny to help her? [Deals with PTSD, OCD, depersonalisation and paranoia.]
1. Prologue

**Title: **Crawling.

**Warnings: **Slight language, violence, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), paranoia, depersonalisation, various phobias, self-mutilation, suicide... and several other things. Basically, read at your own risk. If any of this bothers you, please don't read this. I hope I've handled this delicately, but I can't be sure.

**Disclaimer: **(sigh) Nope, I don't own Harry Potter.

**Setting:** Sometime after HBP.

**A/N: **This fic was named after my favourite Linkin Park song. It's a great song, and I thought it sort of fit the mood.

The first chapter is sort of abstract, but I assure you, it's supposed to be like that, seeing as it's from Luna's point of view, and her mind's a bit damaged at the moment.

Please review, and tell me if you're interested in reading more!

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**Prologue-**

_Memories come like dreams, flickering through. You try to touch them, but when your fingertips linger, they swirl and disappear. You know that they're there, though, just out of reach. And you know that you could grasp them, if only you wanted to badly enough._

_The people here scare you. Their voices are calm and gentle, but they send chills down your spine. Their eyes hold no compassion, just a blank sort of emptiness. You don't answer them, just stare back, and they leave, reproachful looks on their faces._

_You like to be alone. That's how it's always been, as far as you can remember. You don't like the darkness, though. It presses down, suffocating you. Darkness takes away the insecurities the light has and leaves you enshrouded in thought. You don't like to be left alone with your thoughts. They scare you._

_Each night, you can hear the voices in the hallway fade to a whispered muttering and you know they've turned the lights off, in every room but yours. Yours stay on. Always._

_The walls feel different here. You can't remember how they should be, how they were, in that time that you're not quite sure is real... but it wasn't like this. These walls are cold and white, and made of a substance maybe halfway between wood and brick. The floor beneath your bare feet is tiled; seventy-four by one hundred and twelve. You know that; you've counted. You count._

_The people here try to talk to you. Their voices are velveted in false sympathy and lies. They tell you it was all in your head. You're sick, they whisper, with cold eyes. Sick. But we can help you to get better._

_You don't want the pills they give you. You can't control yourself, when they do, and you know that's part of their plan. To get you to relax your guard. And you know that you can't let that happen._

_You cling to the last memories you have. There are black robes, swirling around and around in the moonlight. Scarlet eyes, flashing dangerously. A woman, with hair of woven gold, holding you close. A starry, pointed hat. A shock of red hair._

_Something dark shimmers at the edges of your vision, and you suddenly realise how very, very tired you are. You hear their voices at the door, lowered to a whisper, and you know they're talking about you. But for now, you don't care. You close your eyes, giving in to sleep and haunting green eyes._


	2. Chapter 1

**Warnings, Disclaimer and Setting:** See first chapter.

**A/N: **This chapter doesn't really have any Luna in it... but seeing as the story is pretty much Luna!Centric, that should come soon enough. The first two sections of this chapter were originally not in it, but then I decided that I needed a sort of basis for the rest of it. The chapter _is _quite short, but they'll get longer as the story continues. Please review!

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**Chapter 1-**

Ginny sorted through the papers on the table. She could hear her brother and his girlfriend standing in the doorway, but she was determined not to look up. Instead, she concentrated on the profiles in her hands. There was a blonde girl admitted to St. Claire's several weeks back... but, no, that couldn't be it. The girl had brown eyes.

There was a cough, and, in spite of herself, Ginny looked over to Ron.

"Yes?" she demanded, slightly rudely, glaring at her brother and Hermione.

Ron opened his mouth to speak, but was silenced at once by Hermione.

"Ginny, don't you think that... maybe you should give this a rest?" Her voice was tactful, bordering on patronizing.

"Give _what _a rest?" Ginny looked at her dangerously.

"This." Hermione waved a hand, gesturing at the papers and folders that were scattered all over the table and part of the floor. "I know you miss Luna, but this isn't going to bring her back."

"And _not _trying to find her _is_?" Ginny replied. "She's not _dead_, Hermione."

"I never said she was!" Hermione shot back, tears threatening to fall. "It's just... after Harry..."

Ron stiffened. "Hermione..."

"After Harry... maybe you need to move on," Hermione continued. "_We_ have... your brothers have... Neville has..."

Ginny stood up. Her seat scraped across the floor loudly, and Hermione and Ron both winced.

"Don't you _get _it?" Ginny's voice was perfectly quiet, but dangerous all the same. "This is _why _I have to find Luna. You have... you have each other. But Harry's gone. Luna was... she was my _friend. _She _is _my friend."

Ron and Hermione exchanged looks over Ginny's head, as she stormed out of the kitchen.

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"Are you sure about this?" Ginny asked. "I mean, I know you're busy and everything... I don't want to mess up your job."

Percy shook his head. "It's the least I can do after... well, everything," he said, bowing his head slightly.

Ginny nodded. "You were a prat."

Percy raised an eyebrow. "Thanks," he said, his voice dripping with a sarcasm Ginny didn't know he had.

Ginny shrugged. "You must have realised."

"Well... yes. But that's why I want to make it up to everyone."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments; each sipping at some kind of warm, fruity liquid that Mrs. Weasley had given them.

"Don't get your hopes up, though," Percy warned his sister. "There are a lot of girls with blonde hair and blue eyes. I wouldn't even bother going, except that they can't seem to get a photograph of this girl, and we may as well check."

Ginny nodded. "So, it's okay to go this afternoon?"

Percy nodded. "Meet me here at three o'clock."

"Okay."

Ginny apparated back to the Burrow, relieved to see that nobody else was there. With a sigh, she sat down at the table. This _had _to be Luna. It was one of the last hospitals in England she hadn't yet checked. And the alternative was... well, she didn't want to think about that.

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"I'm sorry."

Percy's words echoed around Ginny's head, and she gave a disappointed shrug. He was right, she _shouldn't _have gotten her hopes up.

"So... you're _not_ friends with April?" the nurse asked, a bewildered look coming onto her face.

Ginny just gave another shrug, and it was Percy who answered. "We're... looking for someone. A friend of ours. We haven't seen her for several months, and someone suggested she might have been injured, maybe in a hospital... We thought it might have been April, but..."

The nurse gave a sympathetic smile. "Oh. That must be hard." She gestured to the thin blonde-haired girl, crawled up in the corner. "We found April in the middle of the road. It must have been a hit and run accident, or something similar. We took her in, and found she suffered several different... illnesses, all to do with her mind."

Ginny stared at the girl –April. Her blue eyes seemed empty, like she could no longer think for herself. And perhaps she couldn't.

"Well, we'd best be off, then," stated Percy. "Thank you for your help."

The nurse smiled. "It was no problem." She hesitated. "Your... friend. Do you know what's wrong with her?"

Percy shook his head, since Ginny seemed inclined to not speak. "No. She just went missing."

The nurse nodded slowly. "We had an admittance here a few months ago. It was... a girl, of about seventeen years old. Same eye and hair colour as April."

Ginny stared at the nurse. "Where is she?"

The nurse smiled sadly. "A few rooms away from here." She paused. "The girl... she's been suffering several different mental illnesses, one of which we think is post-traumatic stress disorder. She also displays a range of different phobias. We couldn't find any of her family members, so... she doesn't have anyone to care for her. Unless...?"

"Can we see her?" Ginny asked desperately.

The nurse hesitated then nodded. "This way."

Ginny and Percy followed the nurse through the halls. She stopped at a doorway, and gestured for them to enter.


	3. Chapter 2

**Warnings, Disclaimer and Setting:** See first chapter.

**A/N: **Again, this is very short, but in my defence, it's very hard to write from Luna's point of view. Thanks to Ember Nickel for reviewing the first two chapters!

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**Chapter 2-**

_You're staring at the door when they enter. There's a woman, her hair pulled back by some kind of band, and she's one of_ _**them**. There's a girl though, with hair a bright red like you see in your dreams, sometimes. She's with a boy, who looks quite like her. You don't think they're with the woman, exactly, but how can you tell? Better to be safe than sorry._

_The girl just stares at you for a moment, her face full of shock, excitement... happiness? It's an act, you know it, and you can feel your whole body recoil. You try to back into the corner, to escape their gaze, but they keep edging forward. The woman, the one in the white, she looks at you with an almost **knowing**__ look and speaks to them. You don't try to understand the words; you don't concentrate on them. Your hands fly up to protect your face, a whimper escaping your lips. But that's not good, not all right, because you're showing a weakness, and if they see, they'll attack._

_They are all looking at you, and you can feel yourself suffocating, just as when the darkness comes. The world tilts, the red of the girl's hair melting into a dull yellow. The boy is wearing a tie, and the once blue colour is now fading to grey. Only the white of the woman's shirt remains as it was, the white of the walls, and you want to scream._

_The girl looks on the verge of tears and she steps forward, holding out a hand to you. You stare at it for a moment, as it fades to grey before your eyes. The world spins again and you edge back a little further._

_The girl's eyes seem to peer right into you and you can see hardened malice staring out. Her mouth opens to form a word._

_**Loo-nah.**_

_She looks at you, as though she's waiting, but all you can see are the lies reflected in her gaze. You want to speak, to tell her it's no use, that you can see through it, see through it **all**__ but you know it wouldn't do any good. And you're afraid. Afraid of what they could do to you._

_The woman speaks again, and the girl's eyes take on a fierce look, but the boy puts a hand on her arm and she cools down. They all leave the room, leaving you alone._

_You keep your eyes firmly fixed to the floor. Outside, you can hear birds chirping, but that's not right. You've already seen three today. **Three. **No more, no less, and you'll be okay. Even if you **can't** look outside again until tomorrow._

_A man comes to the door, making your head turn very quickly. You wince and he looks at you expectantly, but you stay perfectly still. He's wearing white. **White**._

_He speaks, taking a step towards you. You edge away, and, very slowly, he reaches out a hand to you. You throw your arm back, away from his poisonous touch, and it smacks into the cold, hard wall. You gasp, and he takes advantage of that to grab onto you. But you can't let him get you. You **can't**._

_He takes out a needle, and jabs it into your arm, right into the vein. You feel cold, and the blue spider-like threads that run through your arms seem to turn pink, as your vision blurs and the world turns. You can feel the poison running through you, the pink poison that seems to come from these people in white, and you scratch desperately at your arms, watching the skin scrape off. The man, the man in white, he tries to speak to you, but you scream, drowning him out._

_Your nails are scratching desperately now, trying to get this awful poison from spreading through you. Droplets of blood are trickling down your arms, and before you know it, you're being held down by two of **them **that you hadn't even seen enter._

_Their eyes are smug, and the blue and brown of them melts into grey and black. You feel a pinprick in your arm. Darkness closes in on you, and against your will, your body surrenders to it._


End file.
